This post is thanks to my friend Mrs. Miller [read, enjoy, subscribe, share], who encouraged me to write it. In a chat, I sent her something I wrote to myself in my iPhone Notes a couple of years ago, and she thought it was post-worthy. It concerned an online interaction I had when I posted a (very, VERY mildly critical) comment on someone’s Substack, and the Substacker reacted by unleashing a spew of rage, with a list of rules and demands for followers. I read that, nodded to myself, and thought, yeah, I don’t need to follow this person anymore and hit ‘unsubscribe’ followed by ‘mute’.
Here is what I wrote in my Notes that day (edited a bit, for publication purposes):
I’m sitting here laughing at the irony of how a bad online interaction ended up making my day and lifting me up. I gained such tremendous insight.
I’ve had several discussions about anger in the past few months. Recently, someone close to me had a huge fight with a relative and blew up at them, shocking the person because she NEVER does this. My friend felt horrible afterward—physically sick. It weighed on her for weeks because she is not someone who likes to feel anger. I told her I supported her 100% because the person she blew up at had it coming. If it was me, I would’ve felt a release, but she didn’t feel that way at all. She ended up apologizing and making peace, because that is what would bring HERSELF peace.
In another incident, I was furious about a situation at work involving pronouns, non-binary bullshit, blah blah blah. I vented to some friends about it, and one (always annoyingly optimistic) friend shrugged it off and said “I just don’t think about those things.” This annoyed me, because I think this is an unrealistic and unhelpful way to deal with gender ideology, which is extremely damaging and destructive. So I said, “I get it. It’s a choice. Like the way you choose to recycle because you believe in saving the planet. I believe in saving humanity.” He said, “How? By being angry about it?” Yes! By being angry! No problem ever got solved by being complacent! Shit gets done when people get angry enough to do something about it.
Anger is powerful. But you have to know how and when to direct your anger, and also make sure you’re directing it at the right people. I’m aware of this, but some people aren’t.
Today, when I had a very negative interaction with someone online, I was reminded that some people are rageaholics who are sadly headed towards an early grave because they can’t control their anger, and don’t know the right way to direct it. Trying to reason with them is impossible because they’re so drunk on their own anger, and they’ve convinced themselves that ‘this is who I am’, and everyone is expected to accept it. No thank you.
Me? I know the time and place for anger. I’m reasonable—and reason is powerful too.
I’m glad I’m not afraid to be angry like the first friend, and I’m also glad I’m not like my second friend who has convinced himself that everything will work itself out.
I was still wondering if this was post-worthy, and then I got a notification that I had received a comment on my (by far, most popular) piece 'Preferred Pronouns' are a Microaggression:
Well, this made me chuckle. And sigh.
So this person agrees with what I had written, but thinks I should…just ‘let it go’? Ignore everything? Just shut up and look the other way?
How is this helpful?!
Besides the gender nonsense, there are other things going on at my job that make me angry. When I bring up these issues, coworkers listen, pause, and say, ‘Well, you’re not wrong…’ But nobody ever wants to DO anything about it. Nobody ever wants to ENACT change. They just want to wait for things to ‘blow over’ or ‘work out for themselves’. Or they shrug and say, ‘It’s never going to change.’
Or else people just don’t want to make waves. I guess I’m a wavemaker.
ANYWAY. I swear, I am actually a very fun person! I have always been known for making people laugh—so much so that it sometimes becomes a problem because when I want to be taken seriously people don’t know how to handle it. I’ve always been the guy at work that you can count on for one-liners and levity during times of stress and drudgery. (So I can see how jarring it can be when I go on an angry rant.) I try to inject bits of humor in my writing, but honestly it’s difficult to find things to joke about when you’re dealing with the insanity and mass hysteria of genderwoo.
In my thirties, I was frustrated with certain things about the ‘gay world’, so I decided the best way to deal with it was to make light of it. I created a comic strip and expressed myself by lampooning the things that irked me. What I wouldn’t give to go back to those days. Comic strips are basically a dead art form, but even if that was not the case, there is nothing to joke about today. Now, in my fifties, I began this Substack to express my horror at how gay life has been destroyed by ‘trans’ and gender identity ideology. No, that’s not hyperbole. This is a very bleak time we are living through.
But just to show you I honestly do have a funny side, I’m going to post some of my comics from Back In The Day. You can take a look here:
Comics Intro: Some Of My Favorites
A life-long comic strip-lover, I was continually frustrated with the gay comics I saw in the weekly ‘alternative’ papers. I did not relate to any of them and did not feel represented. So in 2002, at 31 years old, I created, wrote, and drew my own weekly comic strip featuring a cast of gay and lesbian characters. ‘Tweaked’, later changed to ‘Gary Tales’
My husband is a professional writer who occasionally gets bile spewed his way. Somehow this doesn't bother him. He seems to intuitively understand that the anger says more about the person writing than anything my husband has said. It just rolls off his back. I, on the other hand, am too sensitive and take everything personally and spend hours stewing about it and holding grudges for years (I come from a very Hatfield and McCoy ancestry). He's honestly an inspiration to me.
Totally agree that anger is a tool, a power that can be harnessed for good. And the rich irony is, your anger (and mine) come from a place of love for the people who are bring hurt—who are DYING—because of gender ideology. The injustice of its lies and smears and propaganda is simply untenable to people like us who see right through it on a fundamental level. The harm of it is so ridiculously obvious it's infuriating! This is all to say, love your work and thanks for the props!