Make Room! More Genders Have Arrived!

We are bursting at the seams with Pride

In 2022, I posted a helpful guide for corporations who want to cash in on the grandeur and glory of ‘Pride Month’:

Have corporations learned anything since then? Ummmm…it depends on who you ask. You would think Target and Anheuser-Busch would have learned not just #GoWokeGoBroke but #WeDidPrideAndSalesDied. We’ll have to wait and see how it goes this year. I’ll be watching, will you?

I reread the piece linked above to see if there was anything I needed to update, and saw that I had queried if Pride-supporting companies were familiar with all the many genders out there. Because ‘all genders are valid’, right?

From pawsofpride.com, in case you want to buy this sweater to go in your time capsule along with your Tamagotchi and Flowbee

The Trevor Project instructs that ‘gender and sex exist on a spectrum, meaning that there are a lot of different ways that people can express their gender identity or sex’. And when they say this, they don’t mean simply on a spectrum of masculine to feminine. Booooooring!!! Why choose that very limited range of a million ways to be, when you can be SO! MUCH!! MORE!!! In my piece I linked to a Fandom Gender Wiki and noted that there were currently 330 genders listed. Hmmmm, I thought, two years have gone by…surely a few more genders have been added to this list.

Yes. Quite a few more.

3,648 more, in fact!

Actually, one more was added since I took this screenshot so there are, in fact, as of Sunday morning, May 19, 2024, at 11:43 am Eastern Standard Time, 3,979 gender identities. And each one has its own flag! Here are some highlights:

Dazefluid was probably dreamed up when ConfusedAsHecc was too stoned and couldn’t decide which color sneakers to wear.

There is a whole subset of ‘gastrogenders’. I think some of these kids are not confused about their gender, they’re just hungry. Parents, feed your kids!

‘tastes like, or is’

At least the kids are doing math?

But why stop there?! If ‘Thirdboy’ is still too limited for you:

I hope Thirdboy and Thirdboyfluid don’t get in a fight over this. Maybe there is an Umpiregender to arbitrate?

Some people are not even trying. Whoever is behind ‘Femifluid’—come on, you can’t even come up with a flag?! How are we supposed to take you seriously? Better call in sick to Starbucks today so you can work on this:

More food genders……

Tomatogender seems almost clever…and this is all just harmless fun, right? Oh, wait…

I know what you’re wondering at this point: Isn’t anyone thinking of the fascists?! Of course they are.

Lightning round…here’s some N’s, S’s, and W’s:

‘Non-binary’ still made the cut? So vague. So 2019. So lame!

You’re not sad, it’s just your gender expressing itself!

I think ‘Whipcremfloofian’ might be my favorite. I think I’ll ask the waiter to bring me that for dessert.

If you have time to kill and need some laffs, go peruse the full (and ever-growing) list and comment below with your favorite! Are there any glaring omissions? What about Doughboygender, for those of us who involuntarily giggle when we get poked in the stomach? Or Kansasgender, if all you are is dust in the wind? What gender best describes YOU?!