Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Gary Lucia's avatar

NOTE: I just updated this post to remove a paragraph that was included twice in my haste to publish this morning. (I had tickets to a matinee of 'Till' and had to leave the house to make it on time! BTW the movie was very well done, and upsetting of course. And it also gave me an idea that people need to SEE photos of 'gender-affirming care' to understand what we are really talking about. I may post something along that line, with a graphic warning.) Thanks to a reader for alerting me of the error!

Expand full comment
Beeswax's avatar

(Gary, the post below came to me as if in a nightmare. It is meant as a show of support for your brilliant article. But I don't want to hijack your Substack. If you feel that it's inappropriate or detracts from the seriousness of your message, please, just delete it. I won't be offended!)

RULES FOR DEMOCRATS

RULE ONE: Consume only DEMOCRAT NEWS. And only interact with those who also consume only DEMOCRAT NEWS. This way, you'll never find yourself in the insufferable position of having to hear facts and logic that you disagree with. Speech is violence. Consume DEMOCRAT NEWS every day to learn the New Spin, i.e., how to think about new events and topics. Tomorrow the New Spin is likely to change, so be ready to forget yesterday’s New Spin and memorize the new New Spin as soon as it's released.

RULE TWO: While watching TV, if you mistakenly see Tucker Carlson's face while searching for DEMOCRAT NEWS, close your eyes tight, scream, and run away. Call the Shabbos Goy* or a neighbor to come over and change the channel for you.

*this is a Jewish joke. I'm allowed, because I'm Jewish.

RULE THREE: Remember that as a DEMOCRAT you have an important role to play as savior of the world's Victims. Examples of Victims are: trans people of color, trans women, trans men, trans children, trans fetuses, poor trans people, trans trans people, trans people who work for Amazon, gay trans people, trans pedophiles, trans surgeons. You yourself are not a Victim. You are privileged, and you know you are because you feel guilty. If you don't feel guilty, start by working on feeling guilty about the fact that you don’t feel guilty. And then, to assuage your guilt, be ready to call out, harass, fire, ostracize, or perform a citizen’s arrest on ALL PERSONS who disagree with you about who the Victims are, or who have no opinion. Silence is violence.

RULE FOUR: Create a list of Things To Fear, and reread it throughout the day to practice feeling the appropriate fear in case you encounter it in real life.

(N.B. Update your list with one new fear a day. This keeps the Thought Police away.)

THINGS TO FEAR STARTER KIT:

Trump

People who wear red hats

Republicans

Capitalists

Dr. Seuss

People who won the election

Uterus havers who are good at sports

Black conservatives

Latinx conservatives

Andy Ngo

Parents who think they have the right to decide what their children learn in school

That bitch who wrote Harry Potter

Butch lesbians who date butch lesbians

People who won't wear a mask at the beach

Detransitioners

Your uncle who won't get the fourteenth booster

Lin-Manuel Miranda

Women who won't call other women "she" just because they have penises

Tulsi Gabbard

Racists (i.e., all of the above).

COVID

Statues of Jefferson, Lincoln and Washington

January 6

The Scientific Method

Evolution

Substack

Twitter 2.0

Free speech

Monkey Pox

NOTE: THE RULES FOR DEMOCRATS ARE UPDATED EVERY FOUR HOURS. SET YOUR PHONE TO RECEIVE NOTIFICATIONS.

Expand full comment
15 more comments...

No posts