The "freedom" women have to express themselves openly is something I and many other effeminate gay men longed for growing up, Its not hard to see why with a dash of trauma why some effeminate men gravitate toward transitioning. It’s not always about ‘wanting to be a woman’ but about escaping the rigid ideas around masculinity. There’s so little space for men who don’t fit the mold, especially within the gay community itself. This piece really hits on that unspoken struggle. Thank you for this VERY important piece. Please keep writing. 😊 ❤️
Levi, thank you for your decision to reveal the wounds, both emotional and medically induced, that plagued you all your life due to the relentless homophobia that so-called gender-nonconforming boys (i.e., future gay men) are subjected to.
Trans ideology is one of the most evil forms of child abuse ever devised. It just kicks the can down the road and makes things worse. Enforced gender roles are soul crushing straitjackets, and the medical ghouls who profit from them belong in prison.
Your decision to share your story took guts, plus empathy for young effeminate men, plus a commitment to your own healing. You're an inspiring role model. Bravo.
Jeez you said it perfect right there... "It just kicks the can down the road and makes things worse." Brilliant! ⭐️ I really don't know about guts. But I do know the difference between BS and Truth. The preservation of a child's innocence and happiness is what matters to me PERIOD. Thanks for your kind words my friend! 😊
You make many great observations in this post. At one point I started to think that women have had the opportunity to express our sexuality ("be sexy") through dress and emotional expression. Have men, ever? Men can be sexy, but is it an expression of sexy or just the observers thoughts? I think women have been able to express what it means to be a woman in more diverse terms, starting with Coco Chanel wearing her suit, allowing women to get out of corsets and into pants. We are also allowed and to be "tom boys", athletes, and/or sweet, gentle, and sensitive, without feeling unsafe amongst other women. To be a woman is a huge range of expressions! Your article discusses the lack of space for a feminine male, which would ideally look like a male feeling safe being feminine without having to have surgery to become a woman. I am imagining the male version of Feminism where woman fought and continue to fight not to be defined by or boxed in by gender. Men being able to be who they are without checking in with society first. I know this is much more complex than I am writing, but it certainly makes sense.
The other thing...I can remember feeling for you the way the women in your story reacted to each other. It would be so great if all people could just be that excited to see the people they love and cherish and freak out because connection to others means everything.
It's always worth the wait for your next Substack piece. I'm assuming that your M.O. is to hit on a topic, let it percolate, locate references to illustrate your point (SNL, Candid Camera, Mr Menno -- all brilliant), and finally pull it all together in an accessible and often heartbreaking way. I was reminded of something I'd long forgotten about.
I came out at a time when gay men and lesbians inhabited the same bars and clubs, and our friendships were warm. Some were already cross-dressing in public, especially the women, which was really risky.
One time somebody organized a private event, where the fairies, primarily, would do their hair and makeup and put on their best gowns and jewelry, and a few dykes would wear full-on men's attire. It wasn't a drag show, because it wasn't filthy and funny. It wasn't a performance. It was for real, and we members of the audience applauded in a serious, respectful way for our queens and kings. At the time I was too young and green to understand the importance of this event, but I understand it now.
Back to the point of your essay: It was holiday time, and I bought my brother-in-law a men's scarf. It was steel gray in color (nice and masculine) and the fabric was a combination of silk and wool, very warm and cozy. But my bro-in-law didn't want the scarf. He apologetically returned it to me because it was TOO SOFT. He said it felt like something a woman would wear. Its texture made him feel...what? emasculated? Maybe it reminded him of a woman, which aroused him? I don't know, but he just couldn't wear it. Isn't that interesting? I give him credit for being in touch with his feelings and telling me the truth.
Yes! I love how you get me. 'Percolate' is a good way to put it...I have 30 drafts in my folder right now, and I go back in and add to them as the days (months!) go by. It's always hard for me to know when something is 'done'. Sometimes the ideas become too large and split into other pieces; this one had a whole section about drag that I had to separate out because there was so much more to write on THAT. Hopefully that one will be ready soon.
That memory of your brother-in-law is a great example! I'm thinking he knew that if he wore that scarf, his friends or coworkers would chide him and make some cracks about how soft it was. How soft HE was. Yes, guys are tough on each other for the dumbest little things.
Any gay man who decides the way to live his life and have emotional and sexual relationships with men is by becoming a trans woman must be deeply disturbed and badly in need of mental health care.
Older gay man, and I have experienced everything you write about here. Just commenting on your observation that "drag is a gateway to trans." This is very true nowadays, but in my youth (1980s) I didn't ever see this. I knew a bunch of drag artists that performed on stage in drag, were obvious 'queens' at all times, no matter what they were wearing, and used their female stage names most of the time in everyday life. None of them ever identified as trans. Identifying as trans was a separate category at the time, and also quite rare.
One of the curses that witchy gender philosophers like Judith Butler have cast on society is the pernicious idea that sex and gender (in the queer theory sense of the word) are not an expression of innate characteristics but a performance. The actor and the character are not one and the same person. Too many people, especially the young, have taken this as an invitation to be both playwright and critic of the performance they call life. As a result, too many people are fixated on their reviews, as it were, and sending themselves back to the dramatist's loft with notes for a rewrite. Those who lose themselves completely in this delusion decide that new lines alone won't improve the ratings. What's needed is a total change to the meat suit. Welcome to The Emperor's New Clothes, trans style.
The "freedom" women have to express themselves openly is something I and many other effeminate gay men longed for growing up, Its not hard to see why with a dash of trauma why some effeminate men gravitate toward transitioning. It’s not always about ‘wanting to be a woman’ but about escaping the rigid ideas around masculinity. There’s so little space for men who don’t fit the mold, especially within the gay community itself. This piece really hits on that unspoken struggle. Thank you for this VERY important piece. Please keep writing. 😊 ❤️
Levi, thank you for your decision to reveal the wounds, both emotional and medically induced, that plagued you all your life due to the relentless homophobia that so-called gender-nonconforming boys (i.e., future gay men) are subjected to.
Trans ideology is one of the most evil forms of child abuse ever devised. It just kicks the can down the road and makes things worse. Enforced gender roles are soul crushing straitjackets, and the medical ghouls who profit from them belong in prison.
Your decision to share your story took guts, plus empathy for young effeminate men, plus a commitment to your own healing. You're an inspiring role model. Bravo.
Jeez you said it perfect right there... "It just kicks the can down the road and makes things worse." Brilliant! ⭐️ I really don't know about guts. But I do know the difference between BS and Truth. The preservation of a child's innocence and happiness is what matters to me PERIOD. Thanks for your kind words my friend! 😊
You make many great observations in this post. At one point I started to think that women have had the opportunity to express our sexuality ("be sexy") through dress and emotional expression. Have men, ever? Men can be sexy, but is it an expression of sexy or just the observers thoughts? I think women have been able to express what it means to be a woman in more diverse terms, starting with Coco Chanel wearing her suit, allowing women to get out of corsets and into pants. We are also allowed and to be "tom boys", athletes, and/or sweet, gentle, and sensitive, without feeling unsafe amongst other women. To be a woman is a huge range of expressions! Your article discusses the lack of space for a feminine male, which would ideally look like a male feeling safe being feminine without having to have surgery to become a woman. I am imagining the male version of Feminism where woman fought and continue to fight not to be defined by or boxed in by gender. Men being able to be who they are without checking in with society first. I know this is much more complex than I am writing, but it certainly makes sense.
The other thing...I can remember feeling for you the way the women in your story reacted to each other. It would be so great if all people could just be that excited to see the people they love and cherish and freak out because connection to others means everything.
❤️❤️❤️I remember too! I miss your hugs! Thank you for expanding on what I wrote with your thoughts 😘
One reason I go in for medieval reenactment, when men were free to be peacocks.
This is a very helpful perspective on the trans appeal for non-AGP men; something really worth reflecting on.
It's always worth the wait for your next Substack piece. I'm assuming that your M.O. is to hit on a topic, let it percolate, locate references to illustrate your point (SNL, Candid Camera, Mr Menno -- all brilliant), and finally pull it all together in an accessible and often heartbreaking way. I was reminded of something I'd long forgotten about.
I came out at a time when gay men and lesbians inhabited the same bars and clubs, and our friendships were warm. Some were already cross-dressing in public, especially the women, which was really risky.
One time somebody organized a private event, where the fairies, primarily, would do their hair and makeup and put on their best gowns and jewelry, and a few dykes would wear full-on men's attire. It wasn't a drag show, because it wasn't filthy and funny. It wasn't a performance. It was for real, and we members of the audience applauded in a serious, respectful way for our queens and kings. At the time I was too young and green to understand the importance of this event, but I understand it now.
Back to the point of your essay: It was holiday time, and I bought my brother-in-law a men's scarf. It was steel gray in color (nice and masculine) and the fabric was a combination of silk and wool, very warm and cozy. But my bro-in-law didn't want the scarf. He apologetically returned it to me because it was TOO SOFT. He said it felt like something a woman would wear. Its texture made him feel...what? emasculated? Maybe it reminded him of a woman, which aroused him? I don't know, but he just couldn't wear it. Isn't that interesting? I give him credit for being in touch with his feelings and telling me the truth.
Yes! I love how you get me. 'Percolate' is a good way to put it...I have 30 drafts in my folder right now, and I go back in and add to them as the days (months!) go by. It's always hard for me to know when something is 'done'. Sometimes the ideas become too large and split into other pieces; this one had a whole section about drag that I had to separate out because there was so much more to write on THAT. Hopefully that one will be ready soon.
That memory of your brother-in-law is a great example! I'm thinking he knew that if he wore that scarf, his friends or coworkers would chide him and make some cracks about how soft it was. How soft HE was. Yes, guys are tough on each other for the dumbest little things.
Any gay man who decides the way to live his life and have emotional and sexual relationships with men is by becoming a trans woman must be deeply disturbed and badly in need of mental health care.
Yes, actual mental health care, not 'gender affirming care'.
alphobedient is brilliant.
Older gay man, and I have experienced everything you write about here. Just commenting on your observation that "drag is a gateway to trans." This is very true nowadays, but in my youth (1980s) I didn't ever see this. I knew a bunch of drag artists that performed on stage in drag, were obvious 'queens' at all times, no matter what they were wearing, and used their female stage names most of the time in everyday life. None of them ever identified as trans. Identifying as trans was a separate category at the time, and also quite rare.
One of the curses that witchy gender philosophers like Judith Butler have cast on society is the pernicious idea that sex and gender (in the queer theory sense of the word) are not an expression of innate characteristics but a performance. The actor and the character are not one and the same person. Too many people, especially the young, have taken this as an invitation to be both playwright and critic of the performance they call life. As a result, too many people are fixated on their reviews, as it were, and sending themselves back to the dramatist's loft with notes for a rewrite. Those who lose themselves completely in this delusion decide that new lines alone won't improve the ratings. What's needed is a total change to the meat suit. Welcome to The Emperor's New Clothes, trans style.